Lifeline
by The Raven Queen
Summary: *one shot* Another sappy installment to the Juunana-gou-cares-about-a-girl oddity that grows inside my head. She's around, doing things, will the lifeline he needs come from her?


Lifeline  
  
A/N: This is pretty much a sequel to 'Anchor', there's no definite time set, but it is after, a reasonable amount of time later, as you will guess. I don't really know how this one came out, seeing as its past midnight and I'm finally fulfilling my vow to write at least one more ficlet involving the mystery girl. No, I'm not naming her, I like being weird. More reviews mean more fics. If you like, say. And you might get more. Who knows? Author's who don't get reviews wouldn't  
  
-Rave  
  
A soft lilting tune graced his ears for a moment, before fading back to incoherent humming. The dew ran in slow trails down the windowpane, giving him a crystalline view of the outside word. His synthetic eyes did not miss the distorted shape that flitted from one spot to another.  
  
Quite what she was doing, the android did not know, it was winter, there was snow on the ground, but she was out there, before he had awoken, apparently floating from one desolate patch to another. He watched her for a some time, before deciding she had to come inside before she froze, he had no need of jackets or warm clothing, but she did, she was human, and frail. She forgot that sometimes. Though, really, he couldn't say it was a bad thing for her to feel strong.  
  
He paused, to take in the mug in his hand, plain, neat, blue, the glaze bubbled slightly around the handle, it was quite a small mug, his hands were not large like the average male's. Ice blue eyes took in the clouds and wisps of steam that puffed up into the air to make minute explosions amongst itself. He had taken to studying things a lot. The world was beginning to fascinate him. Maybe it was because she fascinated him, and she came from this world.  
  
He did not feel the bite of the air against his cheeks, but he felt the wet caress of his own misted breath against his face when he sliced gracefully through the clouds his exhalation made before him. She was on her knees by a patch he had watched her spend a day digging, she was pathetically weak, he could have done it in under a minute, with his bare hands if he so chose, but she had been determined to do it on her own, and he was not one to indulge her flights of fancy, she could have her garden and her roses and her books, but he would not get them for her. she never asked him for help, or complained if what she wanted did not work. He figured she was just happy to be where she was. In a little sphere of existence, crystal ball inside a world that had treated them both harshly.  
  
He watched her for a moment, before realizing she wasn't doing anything, besides, just putting her hands over the earth, resting her bare palms on it, and humming a little louder for a moment. His logic systems blatantly refused to tell him why. After a moment, he felt a little twinge inside him. He frowned, thinking, what was it this time? Was it anger? No, he knew that emotion, he could identify it easily, was it sadness? No, the aching was. under control, was it fear? No, he knew that too, rather well, was it affection? Maybe. it felt a little bit like that, but not completely the same. Curiosity? The desire for knowledge, experience, it was small, nothing like the raw void he still felt, eternally knew. Yes, he decided, it was curiosity. Now, what to do about it. Once, he would have just chosen any option that would fulfil his desire for fun, curiosity included. Now... he just didn't. Juunana-gou didn't know quite why. He frowned.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
She jumped violently, had she not bee on her knees she probably would have lost her balance entirely, in this case she managed to steady herself with one hand.  
  
"Oh," she said softly, his keen m\mechanical ears did not miss the split second she took to calm her breathing. His eyes didn't miss the way her face relaxed slightly, she was still jumpy. In most situations, she would spin around before he made a move to announce his presence, but of late, she had grown focused on her hobbies, she seemed to fear the world outside her own mind less. Thought it may not have been a good thing for her nerves, considering how quietly he moved about, Juunana-gou considered it much better than the state she had once been in.  
  
It was a moment before she answered "I just, I can draw strength from them, the ground, growing things" she said. She didn't seem ashamed by the absurdity of her admission. Her voice was soft and somewhat soothing, as usual, Juunan-gou found that her voice ignited one emotion in him particularly, a deep affection for her that speared into the void and somehow managed to fill it, just the tiniest bit, like one space, where old affections and memories should have been, it was filled, just one little memory locked away in an empty library. One to return to when the blackness swallowed him.  
  
The android smiled slightly, a sort of half smirk, the sort of smirk one gives when amused by the antics of a child, almost sympathetic, understanding. Juunana-gou might have been experiencing those emotions, if he was he wouldn't have recognized so many attacking him at once, so instead, he was learning to deal with his feelings, in ways he understood, slow, mechanical recognition, then storage. It was becoming easier, to accept these new sparks of... something, inside him, he didn't know the precise area they came from, or how he was aware of them, if they were physically there, but he figured it worked something like the way his censors did. He had done internal scans of his brain chemistry. His mechanical mind assimilated the information without effort. He noticed patterns and waves, but what he could not understand, was why certain things, specifically her, ignited these chemical changes within his brain.  
  
It hadn't taken him long to decide that feeling those things and not understanding them was better than not feeling them at all and suffering no confusion.  
  
Anything to fill the void.  
  
He reached out and touched the top of her head, her hair was still ruffled and slightly untidy, she had not even changed her clothes before coming outside. Still in the loose pajama pants she had gotten at some point, and she button down fleece lined shirt.  
  
"Come inside now" he said. She nodded passively, and got to her feet.  
  
Walking across the snow strewn ground, in a white crystal world, he slipped an arm around her shoulders. He felt a mild tremor of surprise when she leant against him, her bare feet, a rosy color from the cold, matching his step. It was the first time he had been in such close contact with her outside of her nightmare fits. She had less of them now, but she still slept in the same bed as him, and no matter how far from him she fell asleep at, he always awoke with her body next to his, often with one of her ankles twined around his calf, and her arms pulling him closer to her.  
  
He liked to wake up to that. It made the simple, hollow, click of returning to consciousness less unpleasant. It would have been... he did not know the word, but... better, to wake up the way she did, slowly rising up from the dark depths of sleep to feel the sounds and sensations filtering into his awareness, his sense slowly coming to life, experiencing one aspect of existence at a time. The slender arms holding onto him, the shape of her small frame, the slight depression against his waist, where her hip bone was pressing. The sensation of her slow even breathing against his bare chest.  
  
Instead. He just clicked awake. Just. Awake. But he could not think of many things better to click awake to.  
  
He felt that feeling of affection rise up within him again and feed the thread that had bound itself to his mind, like a life rope, lowering itself down into the void, something to cling to, hold onto, to drag himself from the emptiness and back to a space where he could think, and feel without falling into that eternal chasm. That feeling flared up with him and down that life line when she moved close to him, matching his path towards the house, in the ring of pine trees, towering giants above the outcasts, around to the door of the cabin.  
  
They will carry me through the evening With darkened spider's webs Making paths over my face And the dusk making me glow  
  
They won't tell me its true They lie to me I'm dead now - But they pretend They let me think I'm still here  
  
Her hair as past her hips now, in one long waterfall of ebony, swaying and shimmering in the white winter morning light. She padded silently around the kitchen, pouring herself a mug of coffee, and drinking it in slow, measured sips. He down his own, and sat with his chin in his hands, watching her. she didn't eat a lot, but she drank coffee often enough, it seemed to revive her, it was like happiness or peace robbed her of her energy.  
  
Against all odds; he understood. Searching through those emotions he was supposed to like, supposed to savor, to recognize them, realize they were good or bad or indifferent, put them in their place, and use appropriate reactions, it was tiring, it robbed his mental energy, and left him with the cool calculations of a mechanical mind. But he was drifting from that even. He did not revert to simply existing as a cold machine so much now. Instead, he rested.  
  
Such a thing was a totally alien experience to the raven haired android but a short time prior. He had discovered the simple peace that came with sitting in a chair next to her, when he did not require sleep, or physical activity/ He found her could not rest alone. He liked to watch her though, he learned from her. Often though, it seemed as though she was as new to being human as he.  
  
But she was the only teacher he had ever known, he remembered the way her eyes had regarded him, with a deep trust, and respect, and some kind of spark he had never known before, one he would later realize was a replica of what he felt whenever she brought and unusually sincere smirk to his lips. She was watching him now, returning his inquisitive stare, the mug obscured part of her face, leaving him with only a view of her eyes, now much more awake and alert, the deep dark orbs making the thread inside him just a little bit stronger, warmer, more real. Less like the dreams his sleeping mind brushed past in his unwaking hours.  
  
He reached across the table and brushed a long strand of her out of her eyes. She did not have particularly long eyelashes, but they suited her, framing her eyes in a mildly feline countenance. Her eyes drifted closed for the moment his fingers were against her skin. And he paused, surprised. He did not move his hand, rather, staying there, for a few moments longer. With the mug in the way, he could not see is her lips were curled into a smile. So he sat back, staring at his hand for a few seconds, as if the spidery fingers had been possessive of some great secret they had neglected to inform him of.  
  
She set down the mug, and he was surprised, when he looked up. To see she was smiling, not a wide smile, or a grin, just an upturning of the corners of her mouth. It made her eyes seem to curve a little bit, and her cheekbones stood out a little more.  
  
It was then, that Juunana-gou realized something, an inkling of an idea, a golden bubble floating just a little too high for him to reach. He realized that the lifeline, inside of him, growing brighter, a blazing rope of warmth for him to grab hold of, was going to save him.  
  
Somehow, sometime, that lifeline would save him from the void. Somehow, the weak little female that smiled at him from across the table, her petite frame balanced on the stool he had made for her, she was going to help him. Make him human somehow.  
  
They will cover my body with crimson Robes and flower petals Secretly they tell each other There's no hope  
  
I'm dead and gone now But they will not leave me Alone in the cold dark earth They stay, and I live my lie 


End file.
